


I don't know if there's destiny, but there is a decision

by literallynoonecares



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, One Shot, Short One Shot, a lil angsty, five short vignettes about my faves, satine is the realest bitch in the game and i love her dearly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:07:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24953518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literallynoonecares/pseuds/literallynoonecares
Summary: five moments from Obi-Wan and Satine's relationship that make them question if there's destiny or if it's decisions that bring them together.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Satine Kryze
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	I don't know if there's destiny, but there is a decision

I.

One month into their assignment on Mandalore, there was an attack on Satine’s life. They ended up on the run -- jumping from outer rim outpost to outpost before anyone could track them. They were in the Chopani sector when Qui-Gon got the message he had to return to the Jedi Council, leaving Obi-Wan as the sole protector of Satine. 

Obi-Wan faltered a bit at that -- he felt too much pressure to keep Satine alive by himself. He also couldn’t bring himself to admit that what he was feeling about Satine. He’d hoped that Qui-Gon hadn’t noticed Satine’s hand brushing against Obi-Wan’s. Or their lingering glances that felt so electric it had to be impossible to ignore. Or the many excuses to just be in each other’s presence…

“You’ll be fine, Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon reassured him. Qui-Gon nodded at Satine as he boarded the shuttle and Satine waved goodbye. 

“Well,” Satine said as the shuttle departed. 

“We should leave this system soon. I’m sure that brought too much attention to us,” Obi-Wan said, deflecting the weight behind Satine’s word. 

“Obi-Wan...Ben,” She spoke softly, her eyes soft but drilling into him as if they were the only people in the galaxy. 

“I told you not to call me that, Duchess,” Obi-Wan shook his head. 

“And I told you not to call me that,” she retorted, smirking at him -- almost asking for him to bicker more. 

“You know the Jedi Code, Satine,” he said.

“I do,” she replied shortly. 

“Then you have to understand--“

“--understand how you can care about me deeply but not do anything about it because you care about a dying ancient religion too much?” She cut him off. 

“Satine,” Obi-Wan said exasperatedly. 

“You know I’m right, Obi-Wan.”

“Perhaps you are. In any case, it’s my duty to protect you now,” he said. 

Her hand brushed against his once more. 

“We should leave,” he said, looking everywhere but at Satine. 

She snakes his hand with hers and takes her other hand to his cheek -- turning it toward her and pulling him in for a kiss. Obi-Wan couldn’t bring himself to break it, letting himself indulge in Satine’s overwhelming presence.

II.

“You just _had_ to drop me,” Satine admonished once they made it back to the ship. 

“I didn’t mean to! I slipped,” Obi-Wan defended. 

“Of course you did,” she rolled her eyes. 

“Are you all right?” He asked, trying to ease the tension between them. 

“I think this will scar,” she pointed to her ankle. 

“I can heal it,” he offered. 

“No, I’ll take my chances. If anything, it’ll be a reminder of you for the rest of my life. I’ll never forget when you attempted to rescue me and dropped me on the ground instead,” Satine teased, sarcasm rolling off of her so naturally. 

“ _That’s_ how you’ll remember me for the rest of your life?” He asked, skepticism seeping through his question. 

“I can think of a few other things, too. Like those days in Batuu or that one night in Canto Bight...” Satine said suggestively. 

“Satine,” Obi-Wan said almost warningly. 

“But Dragoon will be up there now, too. I’ll never forget it,” she said, almost hobbling over to him due to her injury. 

He looked at her with a fire in his eyes. 

“I won’t either,” he said, closing the distance between them and slanting his lips on hers. 

III.

Months later, Qui-Gon returned. They’re on Florrum -- Hondo has offered sanctuary in exchange for credits -- Satine obliged. Obi-Wan felt his eyes roll, but he was grateful for the momentary respite from Mandalore and being on the run.

Qui-Gon arrived with little notice, and Obi-Wan was certain he caught them holding hands when he arrived. To his credit, Qui-Gon looked away and didn’t mention anything. 

It wasn’t until they returned to Coruscant, on a new assignment for a few months when Qui-Gon brought it up.

Obi-Wan had reasoned with himself that this was the universe telling him Satine wasn’t meant to be -- the Jedi needed him. The Jedi wouldn’t assign him something they didn’t need him for. Satine was strong and capable. She could thrive without him, even if sometimes she pretended to be helpless so he’d stick around longer. He always knew when she was playing that card. He knew her and her facial expressions too well. Her eyes always gave her away.

In the turbo lift after a council meeting regarding their new assignment, Obi-Wan sighed a breath of relief. 

“At least this means we’ll be less likely to get involved in local labor disputes,” Obi-Wan said. 

“Or kick-start unlikely romances with the local nobility,” Qui-Gon almost smirked. The meaning behind his words unmistakable. 

Obi-Wan coughed and changed the subject, unwilling to confirm or deny. 

That evening it took all his strength not to contact Satine on his comlink. He had to remind himself of the Jedi Code and his next assignment. 

IV.

Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon returned to Mandalore soon after, the civil war still roaring. Satine was unable to control the Death Watch and she ran out of choices. 

Obi-Wan couldn’t tell if he was grateful for the chance to see her again or if he cursed the fact he’d be so close to her again. How could he bare to leave her again?

They hid out on Yavin-4 for a while -- Qui-Gon gathering intelligence on Mandalore, leaving Obi-Wan and Satine to fend for themselves once more. 

“I trust you not to make any rash decisions, Obi-Wan,” his master counseled him. Obi-Wan knew what he meant, but Satine was intoxicating. He craved being close to her, kissing her, sleeping with her. No matter how much he reminded himself of the Jedi Code, he couldn’t give himself to it fully with Satine in close proximity. 

“Ben,” Satine called, snapping Obi-Wan out of a trance. 

“It’s been too long,” she said, taking his hands in hers and kissing him hard, making up for the months apart.

He broke the kiss, looking at her intently -- wondering if the decisions he made brought them here or if she was his destiny all along.

V.

_Had you said the word, I would have left the Jedi Order..._

“Ben…” Satine started, putting her hand over his, resting on the console. 

“Please,” Obi-Wan left the rest of the sentence unsaid -- please don’t mention what I said, please don’t mention what you said, please don’t mention how I almost lost you and I couldn’t bare it -- 

“I would have never asked you to leave the Jedi Order. I could never ask you to do that,” she said, disregarding his plea. 

“I know,” Obi-Wan said dejectedly. 

“You would have resented me. I hoped that you’d make the choice yourself. That our love was enough,” Satine couldn’t bear to look at his face. 

“After Qui-Gon I couldn’t leave. I hoped you’d understood,” Obi-Wan replied, taking her hand in his. Satine looked up at him and gave him a weak smile. 

“I did,” she said.

Obi-Wan let go of her hand and brought his hand to her cheek, cupping her face and stroking his thumb over her skin. 

“I’m sorry,” he told her. 

“I know,” she said, matching his tone. 

He pulled her closer to him, kissing her softly and pouring years of unsaid affection into it. 

Satine was the first to pull away. 

“Obi-Wan, are you sure about this?” Everything about this was too good to be true, and Satine had to protect herself.

“I’m sure,” he said, snaking his hand around her waist and holding her close to him, kissing her intensely until his comlink beeped and interrupted them. Anakin was ready to leave.

They jumped apart at the intrusion. 

“I’ll be there soon, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said into the comlink. 

“Goodbye, Ben,” Satine said, kissing his cheek lightly. 

“Good luck with Mandalore,” Obi-Wan said. The sincerity in his voice piercing her heart with regret for all the time they had lost and would continue to lose. 

“Good luck with the Jedi,” she said, equally driving a stake into Obi-Wan’s heart. 

That’s the thing about their relationship -- it always felt like destiny. It always felt like some grand pre-determined romance written in the stars. But that’s not what wins out all the time, is it? It’s the decisions. 

Satine reminded herself she could not be the one to pull him away from the Jedi Order, but she let herself have a small part of her hopeful he’d leave and find her one day. 

**Author's Note:**

> In III when Qui-Gon mentions that he knows, that line is taken directly from the Padme novel Queen’s Peril. It’s canon, baby.
> 
> also the title comes from one of my favorite films -- wings of desire!


End file.
